May Day, mayday

While I can’t run around putting flowers on people’s doorsteps and running away – partly because of the price of gas, and partly because I do not run very fast – I can at least wish you all a happy one, and perhaps wax rhapsodic about the Waldorf Maypoles.

Or not, because let’s face it, Maypoles are kind of a you-had-to-be-there sort of thing.  I mean, think about it out of context:  a bunch of people wrap a bunch of ribbons around a really tall pole, and then unwrap it – there’s not really much there there.  Even images of it seem flat and foreign.  You could watch a video, I suppose, but I am deeply suspect of the belief that video is sufficient to experience.  You’d have to really be there, dancing around like an idiot because it is finally, finally beginning to look like a habitable world in the world.  If you’re ten, it’s finally warm enough to play on monkey bars and concrete climbing structures without chilling your fingers.  If you’re what passes for a grown up, then it’s finally beginning to look like winter isn’t actually going to last forever and you can do things in the outside world, possibly involving fossil fuels and high-risk behaviors.

Or, if you’re me, something at work is going all pear-shaped again.  Okay, that’s not exactly a May thing, more of a spring thing.  Something along the lines of, oh, look, it’s spring, things are blooming, and allergies are roaring back to life; now is a dangerous time for all things related to Alison’s career.

Okay, I’m being melodramatic.  Things are happening that are impacting me, but I am not the focus.  I still have my job, that is unlikely to change in the immediate future.  But, my boss is leaving, which puts the department in sort of a wierd limbo state.  I cannot blame her for leaving.  She has very good reasons, and I’m not really the blaming type, provided my blood sugar is adequate.  But I do lament the leaving now, when so many things are happening that need time and attention and someone who is empowered.

[Then again, issues of empowerment are a contributing factor behind her departure, so it’s a deeper problem than it might at first seem.]

But it’s just another… voice, shall we say, in the chorus singing rousing, Sousa-inspired songs that all boil down to “You need to change what you’re doing, because what you are doing is not making you become better.”  The choir is getting a little tired of singing the same songs over and over, and it’s leader, Cariad, well his arms are getting kind of tired.

You know how sometimes you start coming across the same message repeated different ways.  Call it perceptual filtering, call it something woo-woo like messages from the universe, whatever, it is something that happens.  The one that keeps popping up for me is that change takes work, discipline, focus.  That you need to make a plan, but then you need to make the plan happen, and the two types of thinking are very different, and you need to be able to switch to survive.  Or thrive, really, I’m being melodramatic again.

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2 thoughts on “May Day, mayday

  1. “You need to change what you’re doing, because what you are doing is not making you become better.”

    This is my life. Well, outside of the actually taking classes part. but the rest of it? Making actual changes to improve, well, ME? Still not happening. Still not happening because of, well, ME.
    *le sigh*

    But yes, changing takes work. We can make all the fancy plans we want, but if we never actually DO them? They’re just daydreams. I have a LOT of daydreams. I took a swift kick in the ass, nagging from my wife, mother AND mother-in-law to get me back to taking classes. Will it lead anywhere? If I knew that, I’d take this act to Vegas. But I know I have to keep moving, to keep changing. Finding the places and spaces to expand my self is currently more difficult than I’d like, but there are changes afoot. Hopeful, promising changes.

    But I’m going on and on about ME.
    Again.

    • Sometimes, when we want to talk about big things, the only thing we can talk about is ourselves, because we are afraid that other people might not feel the same things, and we are likewise afraid that they are 🙂

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